The last time I blogged about something personal seems like so long ago. Everything is about Jaxen now and I'm kind of ok with that. Of course I get in some 'me time' every now and then, but it's mostly about that little boy whom I love so much.
I some what talked about the subject I'm going to touch on when I first started blogging about my pregnancy.. About how you find who your real friends are. Well today beautiful people, I'd like to touch on it a little bit more.
When you're a teenager everything is here and now. If it aint happenin now, we ain't happy. We have to see our friends every second of every day.. And I did. I saw my best friend in the morning when I'd pick her up for school, I'd see my best friends at lunch, after school at work, and even after that if we weren't tired of each other. It was rare when we didn't spend all weekend together.
When you're 21 everything seems such a blur.. Literally, you're out at the bar every weekend with your friends. You see them at 6pm Friday night to get ready and pre-drink, then you finally depart ways on Sunday night at 7pm only to finally go home and shower for work the next day. You saw those hoochies every weekend, unless you met that special someone you'd sit at home with, in which case your friends are mad because they want you out with them.
Then comes the age you had your baby a little too early in life.. Knocked up at 22 years old. Crap.... But it's life and there's a beautiful light at the end of that tunnel you think is so horrible.. But what you don't know is how many friends you will loose along the way. First set of friends will be the girls you can always count on the be the drunkest at the party. Ehhh, not mad, they were crazy anyway.. 2nd are the girls who you saw quiet often, I mean you actually felt a connection with them. Pretty good friends you'd say.. Now they're not the ones to jump out of your life because you wouldn't party.. No they're the ones who don't want to make an effort. The ones who don't want to drive 45 minutes to your house because it's not convenient for them. And the 3rd are the ones who you thought were your best friend, but obviously not anymore, whether its distance, jealousy, or just pure bitchiness; it doesn't matter anymore.. Honestly nothing really even matters once that baby comes.
You see, the 1st year of a babies life is tough to get out for hours, especially while learning to breast feed. And as the baby gets older it's way harder to keep them entertained out side of there home. Which is just crazy to me because as a friend, you'd think you'd want to help. You'd want to be there for that person who's your "best friend" as much as you can. But nope, all you care about was having a DD and someone to split drinks with. When my ex-best friends daughter was born I was over at her house almost everyday. Anything she needed, I was there. Whether it was to cuddle that sweet baby, help her move, help her with laundry, take the oldest child to school, whatever it was I wanted to be the go-to friend. I'm amazed at how I really didn't have that. I was left alone to do everything and I'm a stronger mother for it. I'm a strong person for going through half my pregnancy in a state where I didn't really know anyone, and then giving birth with family an hour+ away. I'm a bad ass in my eyes!!
So my message is to you, friend.. The one who is going through the journey of their best friend being pregnant.. HELP HER!! In anyway you can. I'm not saying pay her bills, I'm saying once that baby gets here, she will need lots of help around the house. She won't admit it, but she will. Right after the baby is born, she needs to bond with them. Not worry about getting the floor swept or dishes done. Be that person, be someone you'd want someone else to be to you.!
im still breathing
--april
