I can't even begin to write how much things have changed over the past 2 months. How different my life has been. And I can't even finish those sentences with out having a big smile on my face.
I'll take you back to May when I realized my prayer had been answered when I got approved for an apt. I have almost no credit except my car which I had been paying for, for a couple months. But I got approved. I was ready to start my new journey in Norman. As I was getting ready to move I had received a text from non other than my recent ex, Todd. And after the next couple weeks they became a ritual. After getting settled in, I finally gave in and went to dinner with him. 6 months we had been broken up, and in those 6 months we both had dated other people and pretty sure we both grew up. Of course there was the occasional get togethers between us, but it never became more than a hello. After our date it was like a rush upon me. I got those butterfly feelings like we had just met for the first time. I had fallen in love with him all over again. And after a few more days of basically only leaving his house to go to work, everything went back to normal. Like we had never broke up.
A few weeks being back into a relationship he asked me how I would feel if he moved to Texas in the fall. I still get angry when I tell this part, but almost felt like we were breaking up just when we were getting back together. But then the big question came. "Would you consider moving down there with me." Uhmm.. What?!? In the past we had talked several times about moving in together. The timing was never right. Something would come up. And this time was probably the worst time. I had just signed my lease. A 1 year lease. So with out hesitation I immediately said I need some sort of commitment, just like any other girl would ask. And well, we're working on it!! We went on a weekend trip to Texas for a ball tournament and to see his daughter for fathers day. While we were there we went to look at an apt. A month later we went back down there to pick up his daughter, looked at more places and it started becoming surreal!
Thinking about moving to a different state is down right scary, and putting a couple who's never lived together in that situation for the first time is scarier. But I also couldn't be more excited. Lately marriage has been brought up. Kids have been brought up. And I am just all sorts of happy at this moment. My soul mate is next to my side at night. I get to talk to him everyday. Our relationship has never been easy, but its sure worth fighting for. I'm finally at a place where I want to scream "I Love Todd" from the roof top.
April 2010. Our first picture together on Todds birthday.
I don't have one single doubt he doesn't feel the same about me. He tells me I am beautiful and that he loves me everyday. It's still weird getting use to this side of him. It's a side I've never seen and I am so happy it has finally came out. We do not have a normal relationship by any means. We fight and call each other silly names, but 2 seconds later we kiss.
my soul-mate
He really is my rock. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, he is right there to pick me up. And I do the same for him. He's my true soul mate. I'm so in love with this man, I don't think God could have picked a better match for me. And for that I am eternally grateful. I thank God every day for him, and I keep praying to God that our relationship continues to grow stronger. Its funny to think of how different we both are now. It's just me and him. No one else this time. Every morning I wake up, I think of how lucky I am. I smile at the beautiful man next me. I also find myself smiling through out the day because of him. Because I think of how much I love him. I can't wait for the day I get to all myself April Marie Godley. I just want to run down to the courthouse to get married. But we won't.! This man completes me.
As a girl, growing up you don't think that you would end up with a man who has already been married and already has a daughter. You shutter at those thoughts. If I told myself 3 years ago that I would fall in love with a man like this, I would laugh. But now, I couldn't imagaine my life any different. I don't even want to think about where I would be, who'd I be with, or anything. He truely saved me. And Lilly, his daughter, is a bonus!
Lillan Kia Godley
Lilly is the most wild, creative, bubbly, amazing, kind hearted, smart, and loving child I could of been blessed with. She loves me just as much as I love her. She cries for me sometimes, she hugs me with no reason, always wants to cuddle with me before bed, holds my hand, and tells me she loves me. I am so lucky to have her in my life. God couldn't have picked a better future step-daughter for me.
I can't think of two better people I could spend the rest of my life with. I am just amazed. I can't wait to keep writing about our journey together as a future family. Its going to be crazy, fun, full of life, and so loving.
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these 3 remain; faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these, is love.
im still breathing
--april
