DIY Christmas Picture

Before Jaxen was even created I came across a picture on Pintrest that I absolutely LOVED! I said to myself "when I have a baby I will do this because it looks super easy!" And now that Jaxen is here, I got to do it!

Everything is still a learning process, as to what time he eats so I know when he'll be in the best mood.. and his, is right after a nap! So I gathered up my supplies. Todds old ornaments, Icicle Lights from Family Dollar ($8), small hat came with a bib from Walgreens ($5), big hat Dollar Tree ($1), pants from a friend (Carters Brand), and duck tape. If you decide to do this I suggest Clear Tape!

Next just add a cute baby and shoot away!

Photo edit from Ribbet and to the blog they go!! 

I really enjoyed doing these. It was super easy and fun. Hopefully I can get a better camera and continue my DIY pictures. Because professional ones can be pretty pricey! 

•4 months new•

Hello there 4 months, please slow down.

Looking back at Jaxens pictures I'm amazed by how different; but yet the same he looks. Its crazy! But were are hitting so may milestones!!

We are sleeping through out the night, 11 hours to be exact! In size 2 diapers, big boy!! We are talking all the time, smiling everyday, starting to laugh, almost sitting up by ourselves, wearing 3-6 month clothing, cuddle monster, going to bed on our own for over 2 weeks, and about to move to our crib.

Its time to cut the cord and for Jaxen to transition into his big boy bed. I'm just about done with it and hopefully come Sunday night he will be in there from now on. Mommy's heart is a little sad, but needs to be done!

I love you to heaven and back my handsome child!

...3 months new...

It's a few days after Jaxen turned 3 months. We spent the entire day cuddling while I caught up on some Revolution! Very fortunate my day off fell on this day. 

It, to me, felt like a huge milestone! We got past those first 3 months. I've heard from several people the first few are the hardest, but I disagree. The first 6 weeks were the hardest. Getting his feeding and sleep schedule down. Getting to know and trust us. Going back to work... But anyways. Let's focus on this past month.

Todd and I took his measurements. Jaxen is weighing in on 15 pounds and 26 inches long! We are beginning to be a rollie pollie, talking, laughing, squeaking, blowing bubbles, and having stinky farts. Now that I'm not breastfeeding his toots and poops smell horrid!! He loves to cuddle, is now sleeping from 9-11 hours straight. We are out of the swaddling stage since he's starting to squirm in bed and rolling over. We have started sitting him in his bumbo and he's almost got the hang of it, still leaning to the side a bit. But other than that he's the perfect baby!

I love you my sweet boy!

∆∆ 2 months new ∆∆

Well it's official, my little man cub turned 2 months new! I am seriously having the worst mixed feeling about this growing up thing, I could of sworn I was sitting in the hospital just the other day about to have my sweet baby, and now hes 2 months. Insert sigh..

This past month we have been growing like a weed. 12 pounds, 24 1/2 inches long (96%), did great with his shots AND rolled over twice at the doctor!! Pretty much out of all his NewBorn clothes and into 0-3. He eats like 6-7oz of formula. Awake for hours at a time. In size 1 diapers. He is a very loud eater and sleeper! Cracks me up all the time!! He smiles all the time, and even giggles a little bit. He has started to look right into my eyes now when I talk to him. And gives me the biggest gummy toothless grin ever!! It makes being away from him that much sweeter when I come home! Oh and he coo's and ahh's. It's the most presh thing ever!!! AND is starting to sleep most of the night. Going on 5 hour stretches!

Although I am sad he's getting so big on me, I am excited to keep writing about our little life journey.

Like I tell you every night.. I love you more than you will ever know Jaxen. You are my world!

Our 2nd month video... I hope you enjoy watching these as much as I enjoy making them!

~1 month new ~

No one will ever know the strength of my LOVE for you. After all you're the only one who knows what my HEART sounds like from the inside.

So I have been meaning to write this post for a week now but I recently started back at work so it's been a little crazy. Lets rewind to a week ago when we announced that Jaxen was 1 whole month old. Oh I can not believe how quickly that flew by. I hope this isn't how his first year is going to be.

Let me go over some milestones.

He was born on August 7th

I saw his first gassy smile the day we brought him home August 9th

I got peed on our first week home

Spit up on his 2nd week

He rolled over on his 4th week (it took him being very fussy and upset)

On his 1 month he had his first non gassy smile and it happened when I have him a kiss!!

My sweet baby is growing so fast I can't stand it. This is just the beginning of our life together and I can't wait to continue this journey. He is my entire world! 

I love you Jaxen Robert

I told myself before he was born, I would be committed to taking pictures and videos very often. So below is a video of our first month together!

Jaxens 1 month new! from April Godley on Vimeo.

1 WEEK NEW!

As I sit here looking at the clock on the wall it reads 3:00 am. But I'm sure by the time I get to posting this it'll be at night. Working in some "me" time in between feedings, diaper changes, cuddles, and sweet kisses; is difficult. But that's life with a new born! 

I ended off at 36 weeks and the mind struggle of whether my step daughter will have the love for her little brother, like I did my siblings. I didn't doubt she wasn't excited but just that given she's 7 years old and at her age babies aren't very fun. So I'll finish up with 37-39 1/2 weeks. 

37 WEEKS

38 WEEKS

39WEEKS

As those last few weeks went by my body just physically could not handle being pregnant any more. The back rubs weren't working. Climbing up and down stairs and bouncing on my yoga weren't either. So I made the decision to be induced. I kind of didn't have a say as to the date. I called on Monday and was set to be induced Wednesday morning at 5:30 am. So needless to say my life was about to change quick! And the 7th was the most perfect day since 7 is my favorite number of all time.

Tuesday night we checked into the hospital and I was given medication to kind of get the process started. In the middle of the night my contractions begun but nothing consistent. So the potocine was started at 5:30AM!! My water had broke around 10 and right after that the contractions got way worse. Now I'm not trying to be a hero, I thought it'd be cool to go natural like my mom did with me. But again, I'm no hero. Epidural came in about 12! From then on it was numb butt city. I could still feel and move my feet and calves which is great! Because I still wanted to be able to feel the sensation of my son being born. Then by 5:30PM it was time to push. I pushed for what seemed like eternity but was only shy of an hour. I had Todd there as well as my mom and his mom. We all know I love my man but I think one of the best parts was that my mom was there. Cheering on her baby to have her grand baby. And it was the BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. 

I gave birth August 7th, 2013 at 6:19pm to a blonde headed blue eyed angel weighing in at 7 lbs 10oz and 20 1/2 inches long named Jaxen Robert Godley. I was in the love. After he came out of the birth canal they laid him on my stomach and began to clean him off. This baby boy has a set of lungs on him for sure, but as soon as daddy started talking to Jaxen he stopped crying immediately. Todd and I always wondered if he'd recognized his voice since we had opposite schedules, and we were proven he does!!

After Jaxen was cleaned off family was able to come in and Lilly was the first to meet her new baby brother. The beam of excitement on her face was priceless and the "yay" she made after she saw his blonde hair was hilarious. She said "good he looks like me!" The rest of the families ohhs and ahhs were reassuring that I truly had a cute kid!

I can't get over the fact I carried this precious tiny human in my belly for just 2 days shy of 10 whole months. I was pregnant for almost a year! I'm going to miss feeling him squirm around in my stomach and being a part of me. But I am loving having him here. And being able to touch him and kiss his sweet little cheeks. My baby boy is the most perfect little human being. I get so teary eyed just thinking about how wonderful my life has become  I am beyond excited to use this blog to track his growing. It'll be something for us to look back on and remember exactly how I felt at each moment of our lives. My baby is finally in my arms!

40 WEEKS

1 WEEK NEW :)))

im still breathing

--april

The "oklahoma" brother

To start this post off let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am the 6th child out of 7. I have 6 full blood (no we're not dogs) siblings whom I love so dearly. A mother and father who have been married for 32 years come September. I have been very blessed to grow up in a beautiful life with parents that have never divorced or separated. It showed how true love really does exist. Not saying that divorces are sinfully wrong. Because sometimes you marry the wrong person.... (Like my fiance did) Understandable.

These past two and half weeks we have had Todd's 7 year old daughter. And despite how much I love her, she is challenging in every single way. But so are all 7 year olds. When I first met Todd I had just turned 20. Literally a week. And Todd was 27 about to be 28 at the time. The first week of talking I had no idea how old he was or the fact he had a daughter. The first night we hung out we watched a movie at his place and I had found a picture of this precious little girl. After he told me that was his daughter, I should of took off running right then and there. But I was 20 and looking to have fun. I was no where near ready to take on that responsibility. And after a few more times of hanging out I also found out Todd was previously married. Awesome... But for some odd reason that still didn't stop me from liking this guy, until I learned that he had just got out of this long drug out relationship with an ex girlfriend. I love my fiancé, but talk about some baggage man. But then again I had just got out of a relationship, so again looking to have fun!

Anyways, long story short. After about 2 years of on and off dating Todd and I were finally ready to begin our lives together. And then a year later we are starting our family!! Now look I love Todd's daughter, but as a woman it is hard not to wish sometimes the child wasn't there. There goes 2 firsts with Todd I'll never have. Yes this is his first son, but not his first child. I'm not the first person he put a ring on, the first person he got down on one knee on, or the first person to be laying on the delivery table bring 1/2 of him into the world. There's a lot of things that I wish he could take back. I hate the fact he's so much older than me sometimes, because we can never experience new things. But it is what it is. 

Now to the real fun part. Todd's ex wife is due 3 weeks before me, so I guess any day now. As we have had Lilly these past weeks she tells us about her other unborn brother and also talks about our baby Jaxen. And during one of our conversations she calls Jaxen her "Oklahoma brother" That hit me like a brick to the face. Oklahoma brother??? Where does she get this non sense? Oh that's right, probably from her mother who's a piece of work in its self. So this brings me back to telling you about myself. I grew up with both parents, Todd grew up with his mom and step dad. So he's familiar with this more than I am. Again I'm not saying anything bad about divorces. It happens. But what I am saying is to just put yourself in my shoes... Pregnant hormonal woman at 9months about to have her first baby. It's tough being with someone who already has a child. It's tough that my son will have a half sister that he'll rarely see. It's also tough with Lilly because I don't know what kind of crap her mother is filling her head with. Oklahoma brother... Geez that erks my soul. It hurts my heart that she'll be more involved with her "Texas brother" than she'll be with Jaxen. Like she'll think her other brother is more important than Jaxen because she'll rarely see him so she won't really care. I am beyond ready for Jaxen to get here so I will not care about anything else. Like the fact I despise Lilly's mom, and the fact Lilly won't be around much once he gets here. I just don't give a crap anymore. I'm ready to love on my little boy and call him mine. It's just hard to not want to scream and cry when I think about this. Not to mention my brothers 1 year passing is coming up and I'm beyond heart broken he won't be here to see Jaxen being born. I know Lilly loves Todd and myself. I can see it in her eyes when she says I love you, gives hugs and kisses, cries out for us to tuck her in. But will she love an innocent child that she only sees a few times a year.?? 

I guess that's up to her. I've been talking to God constantly to get some reassurance about everything and it seems that I need to take each day by day and worry about myself and my baby. 3 and half more weeks and he will be here. I think now more than ever I'm ready for this chapter in my life to come to a close, and the one with my son to begin. It's been a tough year. I'm not sure how everything's going to pan out. But I'm focusing on myself and praying to God that he helps keep my mind and heart in the right place. I need to focus on having a safe birth and a stress free heart. So here's to many talks with God every day. I'm looking forward to these next 3 weeks!!

Also here's the 6 week recap!!

31 weeks

32 weeks 

33 weeks

BABY BOYS BABY SHOWER

 34 weeks

MATERNITY SHOOT BY KAT ADAMS PHOTOGRAPHY!!

 35 weeks

36 weeks

Doctors appt today show no signs of dilation yet. Fingers crossed next week there will be some signs my baby boy is coming soon!!

im still breathing
-- april

Thoughts on being a mommy

Well the title surely does give this entire post away. These past 30 weeks have completely flown by. It feels like last week I told my family that I was pregnant, and now in 2 months I will be having a child.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I won't lie. I thought my life was COMPLETELY over and I had nothing left to live for. Yes, I know, I am dramatic. But when it comes down to bringing a child into this world, you get scared. After the numbing wore off, I started to get excited. And after finding out the gender of my little boy, I got even more excited. I always said I wanted a boy first. Well I got my wish!! Then as the next 11 weeks went on we started to plan a nursery and buy little boy things and feeling him swim around in belly all day I just couldn't wait for him to be here!! My own flesh and blood will be born in 2 months.

Whoaaaa slow down time....  As week 30 hit last Friday, I hit a wall. I am going to be a mommy. Who in there right mind would let me, a 23 year old woman have baby. Oh that's right God did. Why me Lord? What did I do that was super awesome to be blessed with a baby? I'm not ready for this, I am still a baby myself. I haven't grown up yet. I still like going out and having a couple drinks with my friends. I like having nice things and going out shopping (when I have money) Who am I to take care of a little human being. An innocent life that for some crazy reason choose me, is now counting on me to make sure he is fed, warm, clean, held, and all the other stuff a baby needs is done. What is happening with my life. I am no where near ready. What if he doesn't like me. What if I'm not a good mom. What if I drop him. What if I accidentally leave him in the car??? These are all the thoughts that keep me up at night, and the fact I can't get comfortable.

Well April, it's time to grow up. It's time to finally get your crap together and suck it up. I am not saying I don't love this baby, because I do. I love him more than anything in the world and I haven't even met him. How crazy is it to love someone so much and I have never touched his face or held his hand. But I know him. He is a spunky child that likes to tap dance on my bladder. He likes to hide from the doctor when she tries to hear his heart beat. He loves the sound of the girls in my office because he moves around as soon as I get to work. My baby will such a ladies man. And the best thing of all.... he is my child. No one elses. (Well except his handsome daddy's) I am the one who gets to mold and shape him into the person he's going to be when he gets older. How neat!! 

I guess the more I think about how I am the one who gets to raise him into a great person the more I relax. An ease sets into my mind and I can calm down with the anxiety attack. It's not the end of the world. It's just beginning for my little family!

I will never understand why God is letting me borrow one of his children or why Jaxen choose me. But I will spend every second of every day making sure they don't regret it. I can't wait to love of my little boy and for the day he calls me momma. It will be the sight of fireworks!

Here is a snap of my doctor and I at my check up listening to his precious heart beat!

And here is 30 Weeks. I look like I am ready to pop, but doc says I am just fine!

Looking forward to these next 9 1/2 weeks!! No more dramatic mood swings.



im still breathing
--april

It's becoming all so real

So I think I've written this post about 5 times in the past 3 weeks and it keeps disappearing or my pregnancy brain isn't saving it. But either way the show must go on!

The last time I had a moment to catch my breath I was 15 weeks pregnant!! Now I am at 29! Holy almost 10 weeks left. I am just mind boggled how quickly this pregnancy is moving. It was like one day I am pushing my stomach out to see what I'm going to look like, and then the next I can't see my feet! But as I'm sure all of you may know, we are having a boy. A BOYYYYY!! How ironic that after 1 1/2 months after my brothers passing we are being blessed by a little boy! His middle name will be after my brothers first. 

Jaxen Robert Godley 

I am just simply amazed by God and the way he has my life planned out! Also we moved back to Oklahoma! Texas was great but Oklahoma is home.

Since being gone in Texas and getting pregnant, I have found how different people treat you. As far as returning calls, texts, hanging out. It's a very emotional and humbling experience weeding out your friends. But it is what it is. I am happy to say that I've found my true friends who stick by my side! My sweet best friend Taylar and Whitney are throwing me a baby shower in June. As soon as I told them I was pregnant they insisted on it and for that I'm thankful! My bubbly friend Kat who's my maternity photographer is throwing my work shower as well. What gems of friends I have to put my plans in front of there's. I am happy to have friends that understood how limited my time was when I'd come to visit Oklahoma that they still want to come to my shower. My softball girls being amazing and having dinner with me and coming to my Gender Party. It's beyond blessing. But for those who stopped being my friend just because a few miles got in the way, thank you for showing your true colors and showing me what I'm NOT missing.

Anyways.... I have to brag a little on my pregnancy since I'm already here. 80% of this pregnancy has been awesome! Morning sickness only struck twice, some nausea, little weight gain, and every other day energy. When I really think about how good I have it, it makes me wonder how I won't be so lucky with birth or getting pregnant with my 2nd child in 5 years. But we will cross that bridge when it gets here. For now I'm going to embrace this glorious last trimester and try to get sleep. Oh that's the other 20% Not being able to sleep at night. Can't get comfortable is getting annoying. So is getting up 4 times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Awesome right?!!

Well here's to the next 10 weeks in hopes they fly by like these past 30 weeks!! I can't wait to meet the one who is my light in the darkness! And for those who have missed it, below us a recap of my heaven sent!

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

19 weeks

ITS A BOY

20 weeks

21 weeks

22 weeks

23 weeks

24 weeks

25 weeks

26 weeks

27 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

Thanks for the support everyone.

im still breathing
--april